Here is the annual Bears Prediction Blog! As the above bear must feel embearassed to be highlighted on the GOFFL Official Blog, he suits the possibility of an embearassing season. Two years removed from a Super Bowl, we are entering the season with more questions marks than Crazy's Draft Board or Steve's choice of bar clothing. Kyle Orton at the helm with his neck forest should be able to lead us to somebwhere beartween 0 and 5 victories, but hey, it could be worse. Somehow though, that bearshit rationale of a Chicago Brain makes you feel like we can somehow bearly make the playoffs. I figured I would leave the format fairly simple for the Iowa Grads covering Record, Team MVB, Defensive Bear of the Year, Offensive Bear of the Year, Biggest Surprise, Needs for Next Year and Chick that Urlacher should do cause he can:Record: 9-7
Team MVB: Tommie Harris (leading team in sacks and forced fumbles, Tommie single handedly wins us 4 out of the last 5 with a masterful line against the Jags: 6 Tkl., 2 sk, 1 FF)
Defensive: Danieal Manning (the good Manning makes us realize why Ricky is only good for fighting racism) D-Man returns two kicks for TD's, rips down 5 picks and amasses pass deflections in several key moments of the season
Offensive: Sexy : Coming in after a week 5 blowout in Ford Field and leading the Bears to an unthinkable 7-4 record in the final 11 games, he finishes the season with 6 more Td's than Picks
Surprise: Kevin Jones and Matt Forte become the 5th best rushing committee in the NFL behind a rejouvenated O-line and hammer out a combined 18 TD's between them
Needs for next season:
- Tim Tebow
- New Cheerleaders called the Care Bears with Tambeareens
- Earl Bennett being good
- Walter Payton
- Vontae Davis
- Cheaper Beers at the game if we don't win more than 4 games
Oh yeah, and the Packers are gay...
8 comments:
It was a very well thought out first paragraph (i appreciate the knock there - we will see) but I strongly disagree with all of your awards picks.
Team MVB: It will be Hester - not because he will turn into a great receiver but between him and Manning we will have average starting field position at about the 35.
Defensive: Assuming Ogunleye doesn't get traded to the Giants he still would not win this award but I would say that he had a huge rebound year after a shitty 2006. This award goes to Briggs.
Offensive: This was tough - I love Rex but his time has come and gone and I give my full support to Orton. I would say this is a tossup between Orton and Olsen. Olsen is needed - we need him to keep holes open when Forte is rushing and he needs to become the Tony Gonzalez type of tight end Angelo thought he would be.
Surprise of the Year: If Forte and Jones crack the top 10 in the NFL that means that 20 other football teams had very serious injuries. This would go to Rasheed Davis - he seems to be Orton's go to guy and we can expect 600 yds and 6 td's, not glorious stats but the best of any bears receiver.
Too many homonym puns...
Really, I didn't even notice....please only reserve this for predictions C-Lit
Bears go 5-11 this year. Orton sucks. Hester team MVP. Briggs DPOY. Olsen OPOY. Surprise will be if the Bears passing game ever combines for more than 200 yds in a game.
That is a pic of two players who are now Jets. Shouldn't it say 'Oh yeah and the Jets are gay.' DO YOUR RESEARCH!
didn't know there were so many hilarious links in here... henry burris is classic
I love the Michelle Obama pic.
MVB: Olsen (throw him the gd ball gd put in there for rosch)
D: Brown (just give me 12 games)
O: Olsen
Surprise: Beekman (let him play we've seen what Metcalf can do)
I forgot 7-9
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