Guaranteed.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Vote!!!
If you are voting for Obama- the polls open next Tuesday, November 4th.
If you are voting for McCain (Bill)- the polls open on Wednesday, November 5th.
Friday, October 24, 2008
What in the World? Mid Season Awards
So nobody has posted on the blog in well over a week. What's the deal? I am bored at work and am forced to read Crazy and Gizz bicker like schoolgirls or like Bill about how badly Iowa blows. So since no one will entertain me, I am forced to entertain myself which I have master(bat)ed over the years. So here is my first annual...
Mid-Season awards:
Dumbest Taunts award: Crazy Jon
I was all about Crazy being reinstated in the league, but his lack of shit talking ability, which I believe is a highly underrated criteria for a member of the GOFFL, is really irritating. I am just waiting for an "i know you are but what am I" comeback.
Close second: Gizz, due to his defensiveness and slowly depleting sense of humor.
Surprise Team so far Award: Vande
One of the few things I remember at the draft was Vande's confidence drafting immediately ahead of me. I remember taking Roy Williams immediately before Calvin Johnson. Vande says to me "Calvin Johnson will be better guaranteed" Don't I feel like a chochski. His team isn't that good, but half the battle is finding a way to win week to week. I think his team isn't built to hold that 5-2 record, but apparently what the fuck do I know.
Close Second: Lovie's Stool Peanuts
Boring as shit Award: Kiwon
Apparently Kiwon thinks he can avoid ridicule by keeping silent and taking it seriously. It is almost like he is trying so hard to make a stupid mistake that he may get shit for, then actually taking risks with his lineup. Just boring. Thank you however for laughing at my Najeh Davenport post. Poop. That is all.
Close Second: Vance, at least he posted trade possibilities on the ESPN site.
Surprise Disappointment Award: Roscher
It is not your fault, you just set the bar too high for yourself. Your post at the beginning of the year laying out your plans to write hilarious and great posts. All I am saying is where is my Marci Power reference?
Close Second: Mugica, you are a lot funnier than me. Guaranteed if you wrote this I actually would have read it.
Embarrassment to the League Award: Anderson
My how the mighty have fallen. Are you still even in the league? Are you still man crushing on Brian Westbrook? It's been awhile since we caught up on these matters.
Close Second: Halbert, get off your pedestal.
Purgatory Award: Bill, Karalis, because you are 4-3 and 3-4 in the AFC, on both sides of me in the standings. Really nothing exciting going on. You are just there.
Most uninteresting league Award: GOFFL
Why is nobody 6-1 or 1-6. Everything is way too close to call. Where have all the Cowboys gone?
Alright back to work.
Mid-Season awards:
Dumbest Taunts award: Crazy Jon
I was all about Crazy being reinstated in the league, but his lack of shit talking ability, which I believe is a highly underrated criteria for a member of the GOFFL, is really irritating. I am just waiting for an "i know you are but what am I" comeback.
Close second: Gizz, due to his defensiveness and slowly depleting sense of humor.
Surprise Team so far Award: Vande
One of the few things I remember at the draft was Vande's confidence drafting immediately ahead of me. I remember taking Roy Williams immediately before Calvin Johnson. Vande says to me "Calvin Johnson will be better guaranteed" Don't I feel like a chochski. His team isn't that good, but half the battle is finding a way to win week to week. I think his team isn't built to hold that 5-2 record, but apparently what the fuck do I know.
Close Second: Lovie's Stool Peanuts
Boring as shit Award: Kiwon
Apparently Kiwon thinks he can avoid ridicule by keeping silent and taking it seriously. It is almost like he is trying so hard to make a stupid mistake that he may get shit for, then actually taking risks with his lineup. Just boring. Thank you however for laughing at my Najeh Davenport post. Poop. That is all.
Close Second: Vance, at least he posted trade possibilities on the ESPN site.
Surprise Disappointment Award: Roscher
It is not your fault, you just set the bar too high for yourself. Your post at the beginning of the year laying out your plans to write hilarious and great posts. All I am saying is where is my Marci Power reference?
Close Second: Mugica, you are a lot funnier than me. Guaranteed if you wrote this I actually would have read it.
Embarrassment to the League Award: Anderson
My how the mighty have fallen. Are you still even in the league? Are you still man crushing on Brian Westbrook? It's been awhile since we caught up on these matters.
Close Second: Halbert, get off your pedestal.
Purgatory Award: Bill, Karalis, because you are 4-3 and 3-4 in the AFC, on both sides of me in the standings. Really nothing exciting going on. You are just there.
Most uninteresting league Award: GOFFL
Why is nobody 6-1 or 1-6. Everything is way too close to call. Where have all the Cowboys gone?
Alright back to work.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Quit being a terrible commish...
about half way through the regular season and i haven't had an update on rankings since your last shitty ones. i respect the football mind of gizz and DEMAND that new ones be created immediately.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Bad News for Cockmeat Sandwich
I would like to inform the GOFFL that my employer, Fitch Ratings, has Blocked ALL Fantasy Football related websites effective 3:19pm today. No ESPN Fantasy, no Rotoworld, no FFToday, no FFToolbox, nothing man- they got them all. To say that there is an uproar in the Chicago office would be an understatement. People seem to be significantly more concerned with this than the state of the structured finance market, and I really don't know what I'm going to do with my work days from now on... These bastards, who do they think they are? I bet We Hsu Xiang and John Kim are having quite a laugh about this over in IT...
Monday, October 6, 2008
Sori Provides Rational Explanation
"We're a very good team for [162] games, but we don't do nothing after that," he said. "That's the difference. We're not put together for [a short series]."
Friday, October 3, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
He's Backkkkkk
It doesn't look like Roscher's team is the only thing filled with Feces...
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Look-out-laundry-baskets-Najeh-Davenport-is-bac?urn=nfl,112196
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Look-out-laundry-baskets-Najeh-Davenport-is-bac?urn=nfl,112196
Warning Shot!
Let this be known as a warning to the AFC, the Crotchless Jocks although in last place at a steaming pile of record of 1-3 are not going away. The NFC is looking stronger as predicted, but this only helps my cause. Sure, my team may have lost 3 straight after a decisive Week 1 Victory, but if you look closer at the standings some lurkings of a comeback are noticed:
- I am the second highest scorer in the division (6th in the GOFFL)
- I have had the most points dropped on me in the AFC (3rd in the GOFFL)
- Steven's abomination of a team hasn't begun to start blocking for the Golden Domer Douche Bag
- Torry Holt doesn't have to deal with Scott Linehan holding his playbooks upside down on the sidelines anymore (or Trent Green)
- Finally using my No. 1 Waiver Priority, Kiwon will be crying for giftwrapping his precious Deuce 5 days before he blows up
- CRAZYier things have happened with Mr. Iwert being not only the top scorer this year but having the most Points Against and solidifying his place in the NFC
- After my victory over Kiwon this week, I will go on a rough schedule vs. the NFC only to be saving my best for the run to the playoffs with 5 straight Divisional games to end the year (Nice balance O' Schedule Commish)
Mugica is on his way to an uncontested Rookie of the Year
Crazy attempting to pull off the Comeback Owner of the Year
Halbert will fail to defend his title as he won't be giftwrapped Drew Brees this year
Roscher's team, once again looking so promising after the draft, has been turned into yet again another team filled with feces
Go Cubbies!
